Your Request Has Been Prosecuted


Hiring-hired-hire-jobsThis was the response I got when I tried to unsubscribe (now three separate times) from a list I didn't sign up for in the first place.

I'm thinking they meant "processed" — a translation error, potentially of the cultural kind.

If we are what we eat and think about, it follows that we are what we say.

As a slip it sounds pretty funny, doesn't it?  

Subscribe now, or we will sign up ten of your closest friends and tell them you gave us their email address.

That same tone.

Corporations still hire this way

For all talk of social media this and social media that, corporations still hire using systems and staff from the Industrial Age. I call it spare parts hiring. Make yourself small enough to "fit in" and you become a spare part suitable for an opening.

What happens when you apply for positions at [insert known brand name here] in 2012?

We set out to find out by asking one of our fine researchers to apply not for one, but two positions suitable for his skills and experience level in two separate divisions at one large corporation active at least in some social networks like LinkedIn, Twitter, and Facebook.

Here are the responses he received.

Dear Mr. Candidate

Thank you for your interest in The Organization Name and our open Position – Division position, job number 1202951.  Your education and qualifications are impressive, however, we have chosen to pursue another candidate whose skill sets more closely fit this role.
 
I would encourage you to visit our website often at www.organizationame.com to explore other openings that we have now, or may have in the near future, and apply to those you are interested in.  In the meantime, please know that I will retain your resume and profile and will contact you if other opportunities that match your education and experience become available.
 
I wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors, and again thank you for your interest in The Organization Name.
 
Sincerely,
 
Name Surname
Workforce Planning
Organization Name

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Thank you for your interest in The Organization Name and our open Position – Division position, job number 1202443.  Your education and qualifications are impressive, however, we have chosen to pursue another candidate whose skill sets more closely fit this role.
 
I would encourage you to visit our website often at www.organizationame.com to explore other openings that we have now, or may have in the near future, and apply to those you are interested in.  In the meantime, please know that I will retain your resume and profile and will contact you if other opportunities that match your education and experience become available.
 
I wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors, and again thank you for your interest in The Organization Name.
 
Sincerely,
 
Name Surname
Workforce Planning
Organization Name

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After detailed analysis of the characters font style and word composition, we ascertained that the responses are, in fact, almost identical.

We did find different codes, which might lend special significance — maybe they're part of an elaborate scheme to test candidates determination, a-la "Da Vinci Code".

A comparison with samples received from other organizations, however, rules out the originality of the script. Our researcher/candidate is working overtime to identify the hidden significance of all the tweets and LinkedIn broadcasts about those very same positions still showing as open.

He's convinced the codes are the key. "If I can crack the codes," he said, "we're in."

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Your request has been prosecuted.

 

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For a proposal delivered with confidence, contact me today.

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